The Simple Life

It is dangerous, as I have experienced, to believe to yourself that, as a human being, living on Earth as chance would come to have you, you are small or insignificant, because this way of thinking, or this thought process one would consume, can become the very poison that kills you. If you are small, if you are insignificant, what is your purpose, where are you going, why are you here, why are the stars there? However, to engage with your mind that you are large, that you are important can bring about pride, which to many, has caused their cease of existence, and so the median, we then find, would become the favorable point to try and obtain, but as many would know and what many have found out, the median is simple. The median brings about a sense of thought that dumbs you down and continues to rot your brain until you have lived for nothing and until you are blind to the reality that there is a life behind the metropolitan jobs and the suburban houses, that there is more to living, that you can achieve a greater understanding of what it is that is our purpose, so to speak. Many of us grow and realize that living the simple life is, as its name would say, simple, therefore, living it doesn't take much, and you end up just living in order to live. What's the point of living if you aren't going to live, if you are just trying to make it through life, and gain a social status, and make money, and become famous, and have a family? Why makes the american dream such a dream when in reality, the american dream is a roller coaster with no hills. When you take what you have and actually use it to your advantage, you then see that life is full of opportunities that just want to be taken, but are always just left behind by people too blind to see them. I don't want to live a life that's slowed down by hesitation, I want to jump off the cliff and see what happens. I don't want to live the simple life, this life of dinner parties and 9 to 5 jobs. I can't just get a job and live in a house and have a kid and work work work work die. I must accomplish something, I must live my life to the fullest as some would say, and I must use this world to the furthest extent of its capabilities. I won't let people who are scared to slow me down. I won't those who are weak, those who are timid, those who are worried to slow the life that I will live in order to form a sense of purpose in theirs. I will be who I will be because I am me.

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Facts

The difference between the mind I have now and the mind that I want is that in the mind that I want, there isn't a single question that isn't answered and everything is at ease and everything can be pulled together from facts that I or someone else have gained by taking a look at the world around us. Building a foundation on facts is what makes the foundation hold what's built upon it and what makes people stand on it, not biased faith learned from your surroundings or brought to you in some mysterious enlightenment. Although, in my own experiences, mysterious enlightenments are what have driven me to some of my most major decisions and why, because my emotions told me it was the right thing to do? What kind of authority does emotion have on my life, especially since emotion is almost always bias? I have cried for worth, and I have longed for meaning, and I have waited for a moment in my life where I do feel as though I have the mind I want rather than the mind I have and in those moments, I was truly happy. I feel as though I would rather listen to my emotions and have blind faith than listen to the facts of this world because who says the facts are actually factual? People? The only thing in this world that makes a fact true are the people who support it and the people who make the facts up, and if people are the epicenter for truth, and I am a person, then why cant my emotions, and my faith be the most factual things in my life? If I want to believe something is true, why can't it be true? Who's to say that someone else's opinion on a certain topic is more relevant that my own opinion? Everything learned in the world was learned from someone that learned something from someone else. What gives us miniscule humans the right to place labels on things and call them by our own names when in reality, we know nothing about this universe? The only things we do know were created by us. We decided that this is the way things are because these are the only theories we can wrap our minds around, and because as humans, since we are the smartest species on the only planet with with living, breathing beings, there is no other possible way things happen in this universe because nothing is bigger than us and nothing can top what we have thought of. In a world where human thought is driven by what we know because of humans, the only thing that I can believe in is my own faith, because in my own faith, I am not the biggest being. In my own faith, questions are answered and I live with the mind I want, rather than the mind I have.

Library

I'm going to write until I find the motivation I need to do my homework, or until I find the motivation to do something other than write. The sound of Hands in my ears isn't really helping the situation, its just making me want to head bang or stomp around the library or lay on my bed and watch my ceiling fan go around in monotonous circles like riley use to do or sit on a dirt and grass covered floor and watch the band live or switch to something thats a little less distracting like explosions in the sky.

This mountain dew is good, except I was a little taken back when Jill handed it to me and and there were coffee grounds on top of it. I had to be sure to wipe off all of the coffee grounds before I opened the pop so that none of them would fall into my drink and ruin the flavor, not that the flavor isn't already ruined by the artificial flavoring and Erythorbic Acid.

The top of my head has never itched so much in my life, probably because I haven't used axe shampoo for five months straight any other time in my life. I need to buy some head and shoulders or Selsun Blue because I sometimes find myself scratching my scalp in a class and watching the white flakes of skin fall onto my black corduroys until they look grey.

Nora is doing such a good job working on her homework and doing what she needs to do to get all of it done. Why can't I have that kind of motivation? She is going above and beyond by reading articles that she doesn't even need to read in order to gather information about Wes Anderson and she is getting smarter by the second and I am sitting here writing on my blogspot complaining that I don't have the will power to work on anything that will bring me up in this world. Where's my will power? Where's the drive thats going to get me places? What part of my mind do I need to turn on in order for me to do what I need to do rather than do the things I feel like doing more? You're making me look bad Nora. I blame you for making me feel guilty about not doing homework and I blame you for allowing me to keep writing this pointless and time consuming blog.

Alright. Ugh.

When you lose something, it's just the world forgetting that it ever existed.

(conversation in my room at 11:59 p.m.)

Did you call me this morning

dude i looked at my recent calls and i think i pocket dialed you like 8 times this morning

cuz i was like, i hope he didnt forget something else

gotta love touch screen phones

yea man

im going to sleep

i havent gotten caught up since last thursday, i stayed up all night last thursday

well at least they put it on normal paper now.

see ya, later, riley is that a self portrait? which one, yikes, dont do that, I...wont.

thats jills cousin.